Avril's Hello Kitty is as Bad as Marrying That Guy from Nickleback

Avril Lavigne’s new music video for the song ‘Hello Kitty’ has been branded racist, but if you ask me that’s not the only way it’s offensive.

not sure if this is the Exorcist or what

The video showcases Lavigne frolicking around, pointing at the camera aggressively, and pretending to play guitar. Already, what’s to like here? Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, there are allegations that it uses its Japanese girls and theme to perpetuate cultural stereotypes.

Said Japanese girls consist of Avril’s four backing dancers, all dressed the same, with the same wigs, who at one point Avril, with great hilarity, takes a photo of as though they’re her imaginary friends. They have the same expression; she’s thrilled; they are indifferent. The independent has described the dancers as “four props” who are “robotic, expressionless, and made up to look completely interchangeable”. You can’t really argue with that summary.

But I do take issue with the use of the word prop. Since when have backing dancers ever had back stories or deep, nuanced personalities? Normally, they tend to be homogeneous just so the singer stands out, kind of like bridesmaids.

This controversy echoes the reaction to another recent music video, Lily Allen’s Hard Out There, which featured black backing dancers. Similarly, these dancers were argued to be used as “props” for the white lead singer. Here, Allen is clearly satirizing average music videos - “if you can’t detect the sarcasm then you've misunderstood” she sings. I’m not sure Avril, or whoever was in charge of her car-crash video, had considered any layer of meaning beyond I’M EATING SUSHI AND DRESSED LIKE A CUPCAKE. 

Besides the girls, the stereotyping of Japanese culture - the Hello Kitty, bright colours, sushi etc. – is perhaps problematic.   But, it has to be said, cultural appropriation in the music industry isn’t just limited to Avril’s Hello Kitty and Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku girls. Remember Jai Ho? When Pussycat Dolls thought it would be fun to wear bindis and dance all Bollywood. Was that racist or just stereotyping? Or perhaps it’s ‘celebrating’ the culture, as they would probably call it. A euphemism for commodification? Perhaps. Is Katy Perry’s Black Horse video, along with allegedly being islamophobic, dissing Egyptians? WHERE IS THE LINE DRAWN?

I personally would draw the line at Lady Gaga’s #burqaswag, which encouraged her fans to don a hijab, essentially trivialising such a contentious issue. What I would really like to see is how other cultures would stereotype America. Would the dancers be obese, wearing McDonalds uniforms?

But anyway, Avril’s response was as immature as you’d expect “RACIST??? LOLOLOL!!!” the 29-year-old brayed, “I love Japanese culture”. Thanks Avril, that’s settled then. The video’s not intentionally racist, it’s just really stupid. But anyone expecting something intelligent to go alongside a song with the lyrics “major rager OMFG” needs to be tortured with Clockwork Orange therapy of watching that video on loop.

It is up in the air whether Lavigne’s video was racist, but it is 100% certain that it is bad. 

This article is also featured in InQuire

Subway Sensationalism and other Islamophobia

BIG SHOUTY HEADLINE. SUBWAY HAS REMOVED PORK FROM 185 BRANCHES. THEY ALSO ARE NOW ONLY SERVING HALAL IN THESE BRANCHES. EVERYONE FREAK OUT!

The proposed end of the world is upon us, Muslims have finally taken Subway. Well, actually, 185 out of their approximately 1500 UK stores sell all-halal meat (that's around 12%) and have replaced pork products, such as bacon rashers, with turkey substitutes. 

If you don't know what halal meat is, (click here for a better explanation/more details) it is the Islamic process of slaughtering meat by draining the blood entirely from the animal. The animal must not be harmed prior to slaughter (so, that rules KFC out), and must be killed quickly. It is also turned to face Mecca and the name of Allah or a prayer is spoken in order to thank God for the meat. For those with limited imagination, it's probably where James Cameron got the inspiration from for the grateful slaughter scene in Avatar. 

Anyway, here is how the likes of the Daily Mail and the ever-ridiculous Britain First has sensationalised this practice and are using it to create hatred towards Islamic customs. The Daily Mail wrote 

"Traditionally in halal abattoirs the throats of the animals are cut while they are fully conscious - an act many campaigners say is inhumane and needlessly cruel."

Although said campaigners have mysteriously* (*conveniently) not been named, I would also like to question the apparent "inhumanity" here. Firstly, there is no evidence that halal slaughter is more painful than conventional slaughter (please do read Mehdi Hasan's thoughts on this, here). The halal-slaughtered animal "quickly loses consciousness" from having its throat slit, whereas in other slaughter it is essential that it is rendered unconscious with a shock before death. Now, I'm not here to debate whether being electrocuted or cut is a more painful way to go - the fact is it is slaughter and it can never be nice. Moreover, the Subway meat is going to be stunned prior to halal slaughter, so why are you whining, exactly?

What I'm concerned with is that these so-called animal rights defenders don't seem to care that barn-laid chickens have their beaks removed at birth, for instance, or that in battery farms they have absolutely no room to flap their wings, and can barely do that because they're bred to be top-heavy and are generally disabled. I don't see anyone crying over the conveyor-belt slaughter process which 'conventional' slaughter thinks is fine, or the animal cruelty battery animals in particular face. I apologise for ranting, but if you're so bloody worried about animal rights become a vegetarian. Animals are consumed on a systematic basis and that is a fact.


But, I don't see the DM, or any of these people who allegedly care about the poor halal-slaughtered animals, giving a shit about any of this. That's because compassion for animals in this scenario is just a facade for Islamophobia. We can witnessa similar sort of proud nationalism and Muslim-smearing in campaigns like this banned BNP video, which dehumanises Muslims to an un-precendented and frankly disgusting level:

(If you want to get through the video, probs best to turn the sound off, that child singing haunts my nightmares.)

But it's not just nutters like the BNP who are hating on Muslims. 'Respected' Atheist Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) has been waving the flag for ages, what with his previous scoff at the numbers who have been to Oxbridge, he recently (5th May '14) retweeted a really informative post. I was unable to embed said tweet, but here's the picture. 




I suppose this represents the entirety of Muslims in Science presently? Great that you have used such an unbiased, logical, professional argument there. It looks like it's been put together on photoshop by me, for god's sake - only I wouldn't be seen dead using Comic Sans. But, I digress. 

To me, halal meat tastes no different to any other meat, so I cannot comprehend the outrage of people who object to its use in supermarkets, Pizza Express or Subway. And, as for the dreaded loss of pork, why not go to the other 1,315 stores which still sell it. But, I understand for the likes of Britain First, the BNP, UKIP and the Daily Mail, it is the principle. "They come over here, they eat what we eat!" amiright? Well, tell that to the 33,000 or so other *American* Subways in countries all over the world. 



Get more deets from Subway right here.